My Billings Gazette

Of the many endeavors involving language, perhaps none is so stultifying as legalese.

So it warms the heart to see a judge -- confronted with a case involving a ticked-off golfer who wants to sue over his booting from a college team -- sprinkle his opinion not with stuffy jargon but instead golf references.

(The golfer, by the way, is Andrew Guiliani, son of the former New York mayor. But that's neither here nor there.)

In rejecting Guiliani's claims against Duke University, the judge -- U.S. District Court Judge Wallace W. Dixon -- even quotes from the greatness that is "Caddyshack":

Dixon quips that Giuliani's attempt to use a particular legal maneuver - one not recognized in North Carolina courts - "brings to mind Carl Spackler's analysis from the movie 'Caddyshack.'

"He's on the final hole," Dixon writes, quoting Spackler, the movie's mumbling, gopher-chasing groundskeeper, played by comedian Bill Murray. "He's about 455 yards away, he's gonna hit about a 2 iron, I think."

As any golfer knows, a 2 iron would do little to close such a hefty gap.

Simply outstanding.